This is the most physically demanding day by a long shot. In the first few hours of the day we lug over 1000 kilos of tubs filled with steaks, vinegar, spices and love. We pour out all but the steaks. The 50 kg tubs are delicately farmers-walked down a slippery set of stairs. If head were to go over heels, you’d be in big trouble - that’s like 30 kilos of premo biltong down the drain! Gramps would roll over in his grave.
We do our best to embrace the labour and treat it like a workout, because really what’s the difference? Yes we’re wearing aprons, hairnets and walking down slippery stairs, and there's no mirrors and ferns around, but it’s an opportunity to move and get stronger.
Now that the steaks have had their acid bath it's time for those suckers to get spiced. We slap them down on our giant boards and piece them together tetris style until it’s nothing but a vast span of steaks - as far as Gramp’s eye can see.
Next up our armed guards man the door whilst Luke unlocks the vault and retrieves the treasured blend. The steaks must be spiced evenly in a short up and down sweeping motion that takes years of habitual practice to master.
Now the hard yards. We firmly press the spice into the steaks using the knuckles of our fists. A few hours of this and your pecs and triceps will be smoked. At this rate we’ll be planching on steaks in no time.
Finally, once the poor steaks have taken their beating, they get their hook piercing and are ready to be hung.
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At $10 per 200g bag, throw away your salt & pepper shakers and add some scrambles to your favourite meal.